The Anthology of a Curio

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you." – Maya Angelou

“I fuck with me.”

Finding confidence, joy, and the courage to speak out after six years in college, Tamiah Coffee bears it all: herself, exactly the way she is.

*Editor’s Note: Advanced Photojournalism Documentary Project, Prof. Eric Thomas, University of Kansas Spring ’23
STRONG LANGUAGE IS QUOTED

“Being a black woman on this campus has sucked for so long.” 

25-year-old Tamiah Reneé Coffee (she/they) graduates from KU this spring with a BA in Film & Media Studies and a minor in African & African American Studies with a concentration in Music and Culture, after 6 years at college.

Tamiah, or “Coffee” as she prefers to be known, started college at KU in 2016. 

“When I got into here I fucking cried like it was fucking Princeton… and then I got here and realized it was all this glass bubble,” she said. “There are very dangerous places on this campus.”

Some of these places included the Scholarship Halls on campus, where Coffee shared a room with three black women, the only other women of color in the entire 50+ student hall. Their room was also in a secluded part of the building, separated from everyone else. “It’s crazy, and it’s really sad,” Coffee says, a little lost in thought.

After three years of initial challenges, Coffee took a year off from school in 2019. Fortunately, after returning, she made Murphy Hall (the building where Theatre and Music classes happen) her home on campus. Unfortunately, the year she came back was 2020, and the pandemic halted that on-campus experience.

That’s when Coffee decided that nothing was going to stop her. Sure enough, once the pandemic began to fade, her relationships, ambition, and successful projects flourished. 

“Being here [Murphy Hall] the last two years has made me feel very safe and at home, and feel like all that shit was worth it,” she said. “I’ve learned how to persevere here.”

Perseverance isn’t the only skill that Coffee holds dear. She is grateful for the skills she’s learned in her Film and Media studies because of all the lessons they’ve taught her, personally, professionally, and some she’s applying to her artistic voice. Confidence, calm in moments of panic, open-mindedness, community, collaboration, perspective, honesty, personal growth, passion: These are the tools she needs to speak out. And that’s exactly what she plans on doing. 

“You gotta get mad, and you gotta speak up,” she said. “I’m here to disrupt some shit and shake some shit- because that shit that’s been happening every day in the fucking news pisses me off! I need to say something about it.”

On campus, she produced a podcast in which she speaks about her experiences of being a woman of color on a predominantly white campus.

“A lot of people did not like it, and I’m very proud of that.” Coffee said with a laugh. She knows her message isn’t for everyone, and some may not respect it. But Coffee cares that the message is available for others in her community who do care. Those who care about inclusion, community building, and change.

Against expectations, speaking out hasn’t always been Coffee’s strong suit. In high school, she was a dedicated ROTC cadet who was even recognized for her contributions in the Marines. But that eventually changed. Upon high school graduation, she was one of the top-performing cadets, with an offer for a personalized position in the ranks at the University of Kansas. She turned it down. Why?

“I’m not gonna keep holding your guns and shoot who you don’t like. What am I going to get? You ‘gon keep oppressing my people? That don’t seem fair!” She says.

However, through all the challenges Coffee has faced, she remains herself, unwilling to change even when facing people she struggles against. It’s about the dedication to what you believe, how you choose to act, and the pride you take in yourself that matter most. At least for Coffee. She’s resolved to make peace with the center of the world, which is yourself. And you need to be proud of who you are on the inside to navigate- let alone change- the outside world.

“At the end of the day, I fuck with me. And I fuck with me in all the versions of myself, whether I’m fat as hell, skinny as fuck, depressed, happy, drunk- I don’t give a fuck,” she said. “It’s just giving a fuck about yourself and coming to terms with who you are. Knowing you don’t have to be, like a 10, literally every day- cuz that’s unbelievable, and unattainable, and even Lizzo don’t do that shit. So like, if Lizzo don’t do it then why I gotta do it?” She said, laughing.

Overall, Coffee is grateful for her time at KU, and she’s ready for the next chapter of her life. 

“KU taught me that greatness lies in some weird ass fucking places,” she said. “I know who I am and I’m true to myself- I love myself so much.”

Everything else will figure itself out.

Tamiah Coffee bursts out laughing at her home in Topeka, KS on April 8th. Coffe’s pronouns are she/ they, but it hasn’t always been that way. To her, the way you view yourself flows and changes- and it should. “I’ve grown into different identities,” she said.
Kokomi, “Koko,” the cat purrs as she’s scratched by Coffee on April 8th. Koko was given a home alongside Juju and Mabon and Siss the Ball Python. Coffee rescued all three cats and loves giving them attention. Coffee’s pets are very important to her and give her the chance to spread as much love as she can.
Coffee’s boyfriend Ruben Pineda-Paulino and Coffee compete in “Need For Speed” a virtual car racing game on April 8th. While Coffee loves playing, she admits she’s not the best at the game. “This is just basic bitch shit and I can’t do it because I’m not a basic bitch.” Coffee identifies as poly, but to her, that label means nothing as she can love multiple people, and still only be committed to one. “People are experiences, you can have experiences with one person and not be able to have it with another,” she said. “I don’t want to put myself in a box, and just let myself love.”
Coffee undresses at her home in Topeka, KS on April 8th. Fashion is a huge part of how Coffee expresses herself. Around campus, Coffee is known for her vast collection of clothing and range of styles. “I exude confidence because that’s how I want to feel, and I wanna be a confident person and by being that confidence, I kind of manifest that shit and make it like, maybe I’m not confident today, but if I keep fucking saying it, if I keep fucking feelin’ it, then I will be by however many days after,” She said.
Coffee clutches her bong after taking a hit at her home. Coffee is very proud of her body and doesn’t let anyone tell her who she can be or how she can dress. “Springing and shaking and bouncing,” Coffee said. “I’m very comfortable in my own skin.”
Coffee displays her evil eye charm on her waist chains, which she made herself. Coffee wears a necklace filled with crystals that complement the crystals in the waist chains she wears. The chains come from African tradition and help with energetic strength and balance, and remind her to be honest and open. “I don’t mind talking about the shit that’s in my head because everyone should, so I should exercise that myself,” she said. Coffee wears her chains every day.
From left to right, Alexander Fortune, Sofia Bilbao, Tamiah Coffee, and Elliot Bowman film “Mabel,” a student murder mystery film set in the 1800s on March 24th. In the film, Coffee plays Marita, the town gossip. Coffee loved doing this film because it gave her the chance to work alongside her peers, people she’s grateful to have found joy and friendship with.
Coffee jokes around with co-stars during the filming of “Mabel.” Even though Coffee has been through some tough times, she values keeping a smile on her face. “There are so many things that make me happy.”
Coffee models her limited edition Captain Crunch novelty Christmas sweater. Coffee won the sweater and a free box of Captain Crunch through an Instagram giveaway around Christmastime 2022. “It’s my prize possession,” she says, laughing.
Tamiah Coffee at her home on April 8th. Even as a proud black woman, Coffee has the courage to recognize that no one is perfect. “Everyone is beautiful in their own way, everyone is ugly in their own way, you feel me? What you think is beautiful someone might think is awful, you know what I mean? And vice versa.” she said.